5 Ways a Good Night of Dog ZZZ’s Can Help You Predict the Future
Futurists are making good money these days with forward-lookin predictions about changes in business, economics, and the world. Those who can spot trends and predict the future have opportunity to make money and gain cultural status. As dogs there is a huge opportunity here for us. What if we could predict when the kibble would next be distributed by our humans? Or when the next walk was coming? Our four-legged brothers and sisters would revere us. We would no longer have to fight to get to the dog bowl first. They would part like the red sea did for Moses and let us gracefully walk to the bowl, head held high, model catwalk style.
This guide will reveal to you how one simple thing can help you predict the future, become the house rockstar, and be regarded as the wisest creature in the house…sleep!
Reduce Stress – Open Your Mind to The Future
The humans experience something called “stress,” it has something to do with papers and the magic tip-tap machine that they plug into the wall and stare at day in and day out. I think we have stress too but it’s related more with not getting the tennis ball that’s too high on the shelf that we can see but not touch, or the mailman banging on the door. Quietly leave the Amazon box at the door bro, no need to kick it in. When we are “stressed”, (like how you feel when there is a thunderstorm) you can’t sleep well. It occupies your mind. Instead of focusing your energy on observing trends around you to predict the future – you are overcome with a sense of dread (when will the next loud bang be?!). A good night’s sleep allows us to “re-set” our bodies and eliminate the feelings of stress that prevent us from reaching our full potential.
Improves Your Memory – The Best Way to Predict the Future is to Remember the Past
“The past repeats itself,” so I hear. To remember the past we need to sleep? I’m not sure why this is true but apparently chasing squirrels while twitching on our dog beds is the key to solidifying memories. To have maximum recall that will help you with your futurist endeavors…get a good night’s sleep. Remember…didn’t the human feed you at 7 am yesterday…and the day before…and the day before…omg, I am predicting the future right now!!!
Napping Makes You “Smarter”
Naps make you more productive — makes sense to me. I always wake up refreshed and ready to learn something new, like how to take down the baby gate meant to contain me. Unfortunately the humans keep getting “smarter” too and changing the gate. But I digress, let’s get smarter by taking a restful snooze in the middle of the day. While your brothers and sisters are hanging out worrying about when the humans will come home from what they call “werk,” you can be sitting pretty and stress free. Why? Because your mid-day nap has made you smarter than the average pooch. You know that when the big hand on the clock points to the thing that looks like a snake that the humans come home. Your inner piece found from napping has made you smarter and capable of predicting the future.
Sleeping is Good for Your Overall Health – Keep Your Eye on the Prize
Instead of worrying bout why this hurts or that hurts, keep focused on your futurist goals. A good night’s sleep is good for your mind and body and will keep you focused on what’s important — like when will we go for a walk. The others are all itching for the information — make them wait for it. Draw it out. Then wow them with your future-predicting skills. Your mind is unencumbered with the distractions of physical aches and pains from your peaceful rest.
Makes You More Alert
Wake up and smell the kibble — sleep keeps you on top of your A-game! Also did you know that when you sleep better you have more energy to run around the yard? Oh yeah and running around the yard is a sure-fire way to have a good night’s sleep the next night. Oh! Oh! Look! You did it again…another prediction — good sleep = high energy = running around the yard = more good sleep.
Make sure your sleep is quality by encouraging your human to get you the right bed to catch your future-predicting zzz’s on. The fluffy air cloud (UnderDog bed) is the bed I get my best rest on. It’s not like those shady beds they used to bring home from Target. It seemed like every weekend I had to get a new one. The humans were getting frustrated that I kept tearing those beds up, but I didn’t know how else to tell them that in the future I saw a bed that was actually comfortable. A bed that I actually liked. A bed that would help me meet my goals of producing the future. With my UnderDog bed I don’t get painful spots that wake me up and cause me to roll around — or worse — reject the bed and sleep on that ouchie hardwood floor.
Now, go forth my proteges, get your good night’s sleep, predict the future, impress your siblings, and most importantly — become a hero.